Tired, So Tired

Life sucks. Sorry, feeling negative tonight. My eyes lids are heavy. My heart is heavy. I am so depressed. I have made to many stupid mistakes in my life. Half of those mistakes are because I am so stubborn. Even if I am not behaving logically (being logical is a big deal to me), I will continue to do so just because I am to stubborn to stop.

Don't get me wrong, just because I am feeling negative tonight, doesn't mean that I don't have a few wonderful positives in my life. I know my life doesn't completely suck, but I am having a hard time focusing on the positives.

I am a little depressed thinking about the up and coming holidays. For one, we will be missing my mom-in-law this year. That in and of its self is depressing and then you mix in crappy Thanksgiving and Christmas. For two, I haven't enjoyed theses two holidays since I was a kid. I didn't have to worry about a thing back then. Today the holidays are always a big let down for me. Take Christmas for example. I shop for months for the perfect gift for every family member and then the people aren't even grateful. Why try any more? Why even participate?

Life sucks. Life is grand that way, don't you think?