Pro-LIfe
As all of you should know by know, I am all the way pro-life, anti-abortion. I think that killing an unborn baby is wrong any way you look at it. Even if a woman has been raped or molested, I still think it is wrong to kill the child. Since when does two wrongs make a right? What did the child ever do to deserve that? Nothing. I am sorry if you are one of those woman who have gone through something traumatic like that, but there are also so many woman who can't have children and want to adopt. Why not make the pregnancy(even if caused by a rape) a happy thing by blessing another family with a baby.
I also think that abortion is the easy way out for dealing with the consequences of an unwanted pregnancy. People need to take responsibility for the sexual actions. If they don't plan on having children, use some sort of birth control! Or just don't have sex to begin with!!
I have decided to be one of those mothers who gives their children condoms. Know why? Because if they are going to have sex out of marriage, they will use protection. Don't get me wrong, I will teach my children so save themselves like I did. They will know that God is against sex before marriage, and so is their parents. But, just in case they give into peer pressure or lust, I want them to be protected. They will know everything there is to know about sex(including condoms/birth control) and the consequences associated with it.
I say all that to say this: There is a drug on the market called RU-486. This pill terminates an early pregnancy by blocking progesterone, which is necessary to continue to be pregnant. Recently the drug has had some side affects. Woman are getting sick and a few have died because they took this abortion pill. Most woman have heavy bleeding and quite a few get infections. They have to deal with the side affects(consequences) of taking a pill in order to be rid of the consequences of having un-safe sex. Crazy I tell ya!!!
If you want to read about another person's view on this go to Right Wing Spic. It is a great post and he has an article link for CBS news called Safety Of Abortion Pill Questioned. Very interesting. Check it out, if you want.
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loelsh said...
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G said...
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Trinity13 said...
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Pete said...
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loelsh said...
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Trinity13 said...
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Pete said...
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Trinity13 said...
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Trinity13 said...
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G said...
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Trinity13 said...
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I agree wholeheartedly!!
November 17, 2004 2:35 PM
Teach your children well,
Their father's hell did slowly go by,
And feed them on your dreams
The one they picks, the one you'll know by.
November 17, 2004 3:37 PM
Thanks for the discussion Drifter.
Teaching your son that murder is wrong is fine by me Drifter. But you must teach him all aspects of it. Everything from different types of murder to how to load a gun to how to defend himself. My dad did just that when I was growing up since he keeps several guns in the house. He knew that if I had any questions, he would be there to answer them. Learning all aspects of murder helped my to realize that it is wrong in God's eyes. But like I said, I learned all about the guns he owned and if someone were to break into the house and threaten my life, I would shot them in self defense. Even killing a person in self defense is murder.
On to the condom issue-My mother told me that sex before marriage is wrong. She sat down with me and I learned everything that she knew about sex. She said to save myself but if I was to succumb to pressure, to use protection. She didn't want me to make a stupid decision(having sex before marriage) stupider by not using a condom. I agree with her. I know to many good christian kids that had sex and are know parents. Just because we are christians, doesn't mean we are above consequences.
My son will know all about sex and the consequences. He will know that he can ask me for a condom. That way, I will know that he is going to have sex, or at least thinking about it, and I can try to talk him out of it one last time. If not, he is protected and I won't be a young grandma.
Does this make any sense Drifter? Is this the discussion you wanted?
November 17, 2004 4:47 PM
I know what Drifter is saying. I think that as part of a well-rounded explantion on all things sexual to include education about what birth-control is, but to his point, giving out condoms sends a mixed message.
I think it is like you are saying to them, "God says this is the way to go and this is the behavior that I believe is right, BUT you won't listen anyway, so here is a tool to help you in your sin."
Condoms are plenty easy to be had these days and if you have educated them enough on the dangers of sex, they will get their own before doing anything. Look, its like this, even if a dude has a condom in his back pocket, he really doesn't want to use it because it decreases sensitivity and it a bit of a mood killer to get out, unwrapped, and in to place.
I don't plan to put my daughters on birth control as a safety measure when they turn 16 or some such thing. Of course, if all else fails and they are sexually active, tactics will have to change. But, my primary plan is to instill enough knowledge of the dangers of pre-marital sex, instill the knowledge that it is against God's plan and my expectations, and instill enough self-worth that they cannot be easily pressured.
One of the big reasons that girls have pre-marital sex is that they think that they can derive some kind of worth or value from it. It is my job to show that their worth comes from God as a part of who they are.
Of course, some girls just do it because they are curious. That is the portion that I feel can be undone with the open talks. If it can't, they will have enough knowledge to make the decision to protect themselves.
After all, that is all you can do. Arm them up as the best soldiers to head out in to the battle of life. You cannot be with them at all times and you cannot make their decisions for them. You can only teach them your values and expectations and love them the best you can.
And, of course, I am pro-life in all circumstances as well, mainly for the reasons that Trinity outlined in her post.
November 17, 2004 8:06 PM
I don't plan on handing out condoms to my kids when I have "the talk" with them but I do plan on making sure that they know that if they do have sex, they need to be protected. I also have personal experience to share with them, making sure that they know that it only takes one temporary lapse in judgement to get pregnant. My oldest daughter is living proof of that! My parents were never open with talking about sex and always very private about things and seemed embarrassed to discuss anything sex related. They never really had that talk with me. I was also a shy, fat kid and had really low self esteem. So I suppose when boys started showing an interest in me, I was curious and ate up the attention. Don't get me wrong, I did have the fact instilled in me that sex outside of marriage was wrong, and had every intention of waiting until I was married, however I gave into temptation and got pregnant. I do remember my mom saying one thing to me when I was a young teen and that is "I'm not saying that it's ok to go out and do anything, but promise me that if you were to ever get pregnant, you'll never have an abortion". When I did get pregnant at 16, my mom was there to support me in every way she could. For that I will be eternally greatful. If for some reason one of my children gets pregnant before they are married, I will be disappointed in that they did not do better than me, but I will be here to support them and help them. I could not have gotten to where I am now without the help and support of my family. I don't understand those people who kick their kids out if they get pregnant. My hope and prayer for my children is that they have very high self esteem and feel self worth so that they aren't as likely to give into temptation because someone shows interest in them.
November 17, 2004 8:44 PM
Bottom line- I would rather have my child knowing that he can ask me for a condom instead of him having unprotected sex.
November 18, 2004 9:05 AM
Like Lo and I said, our goal is to be people that our kids can talk to about this.
But, we will have to agree to disagree about being a source for condoms.
As I said in my earlier comment, tactics might have to change if we discover them to be sexually active, but right now my plan is not to be a source of birth control.
Actions speak louder than words. Ones words would say, "Don't have sex.", but ones actions would say, "Go, have sex."
I think the percentages would say that in that case, the kid would perceive your approval for the behavior and the peer pressure would tell the child that you are really approving, or else why would you give them the condoms?
Like I said, we may just have to agree to disagree.
November 18, 2004 9:16 AM
Yes, we might have to agree to disagree.
Did either of your parents or Lo's parents say that they would give you condoms if you needed them? My mom did. She said that I should never have sex before marriage, but if I was to have sex, I needed to be protected. She was not giving her approval, but she was willing to give me a form of birth control in order to not make her an early grandma. And you know what, it worked in my case. I saved myself till I was married. That is why I want to do the same for my kids. I want to go about this the same way my mother did. Of course, I have to take in consideration my hubby's views. If he is totally against giving out condoms, then I will respect his decision and we can sit our kids down and talk to them about it together.
November 18, 2004 2:00 PM
Any thoughts about this G?
November 18, 2004 2:01 PM
Initially, it was a bit of a shocker when I first read that. I was unaware of all the specifics of how your parents dealt with the issue. At least the condom part. My experience was quite different.
My folks never talked to us about sex, much less did they offer prophylactics, so we had to learn from our friends. Dad would even turn the channel if a commercial came on for a feminine hygiene product to avoid any possibility of conversing about that kind of stuff. Because of that, I feel a great responsibility to be forthcoming with information to our children about sex, even before they ask.
I was able to remain pure for several reasons. One, I knew personally that I wanted to be a virgin when I got married, despite peer pressure. I also knew that My Dad would have killed me if he found me out being sexually active. And oh yeah... girls didn't like me.
Guru's cross that bridge when we come to it approach on providing birth control seems like a good principle, and I would also hope never to send mixed messages to my kids about something so serious.
Ultimately the semantics of this issue will need to be prayed about and discussed in more detail in private to insure that we make the right decision. By that, I'm saying there's room for discussion on our method of instruction, but I don't want to just do what works for us. I am very intent on doing what's right.
Bottom line- I would rather have my child know that he can ask me about sex(or anything, for that matter) instead of him having to learn from his under-educated peers.
You asked.
November 18, 2004 10:14 PM
Yes, I did ask and I thank you for the great comment. This issue definitely needs to be prayed about that we will do the right thing in God's eyes. Thanks G.
November 18, 2004 10:30 PM
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