More Kids???
As most of you know, if we were having a girl this time, I would have been done. An even amount of children would have been great and only having two would of allowed my hubby and I to give more attention to them. Vacations would have been cheaper and it would have been easier to get a sitter for only two kids. We don't have a lot of extra money as it is, so only having two kids wouldn't put us in the poor house! :-)
But, while talking to my hubby this past weekend, I found out that he still wants four children!!! This is the amount we agreed on before we even started having kids. Now that I have one, I know better...heehee! I love only having one right now cause I can give him so much attention and it's easy to just pick up and go anywhere we want. It's going to be a bit harder when we have this second one, but then to add two more?! I don't know what my hubby is thinking!!!
If I knew that kids 3 and 4 would be guaranteed girls, I might be more open to having two more. But I don't know if I want to take the risk...not that there is anything wrong with having four boys-it's just not for me!!! If we end up having a third boy, we will def be adopting! I just want a little girl...please?!
I'm just so worried that we won't be able to afford four children, or that I won't have the patience with them. I would want to give them as much attention as possible, so I know I would def be wearing myself out having four (esp if I decide to homeschool). Plus, have four C-sections is not good for a body...that's why I want to be done if our third little one is a girl.
I just thought my hubby and I were on the same page. But he doesn't have to carry them for 9 months, or care for them during the day, so what would it matter to him...right?! :-) But in all fairness, he has always wanted a big family (with no middle child). He looks forward to the future in how much bigger our family will be after our children marry and have kids of their own. Already, he can't wait to be a grandfather to many, many grandchildren! I gotta love him for that, but I'm just not prepared yet to have four kids.
Do you think four kids is that much harder to care for than three?
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People that have that many kids say that it gets easier at the four or five point.
Stace C. (who we, of course, both know) is a huge proponent of that theory.
But, to be honest, I don't think I want to have four. It is a lot for a mom to deal with.
Additionally, middle child syndrome is the result of bad parenting. I may have counteracted that somewhat too much, as my middle kid thinks that she is the queen of the universe, not some Jan Brady-ish overlooked kid.
Four rather than three also presents serious problems in the car department. It definitely puts you in van or large SUV territory there. But, even with three, vacations get more difficult as they get older if you follow the strict four-occupants-per-room policy.
June 13, 2006 9:51 AM
I know that three was much harder then two if that helps any.
June 13, 2006 10:35 AM
Amen, Daybyday, amen! I think 3 is the most difficult number. Of course, I don't know first hand what it's like to have 4, but from other moms I know, 4 isn't much different than 3.
I do know first hand, however, that going to 3 from 2 IS a HUGE difference. You are outnumbered and there is always an odd number of people. It can make it awkward (but not unmanageable) for eating at restaurants, or like guru said at hotels.
We are having a difficult time finding places to go for family vacations with three. But I think our biggest problem right now is how young the boy is. It won't be so difficult when he's older.
It's not too difficult to accommodate one extra person in a hotel room, but 2 extra might be pushing it, so we may just have to be done with 3.
June 13, 2006 11:21 AM
We wanted more before but since both of us were working at that time we had decided to have only 1. So I only have one son. It was hard at that time to be working, both of us and leaving the baby to some nanny stranger who you just pay on a monthly basis. Baby gets sick often. Proper care is not given unlike when you yourself does it. In short, there is TLC.
In your case, I don't really know since you are a SAHM, but then maybe you can talk it over with your hubby and explain it to him clearly and maybe he'll get the point.
June 13, 2006 11:30 AM
I know when my parents had foster kids Guru, my mom used to say that having 5-6 kids was easier on her than just us 3. (Btw, just be careful of your middle...she could turn out like my sis who got way more attention just because she was in the middle-and now look at her!). But, I think we could all still fit in my Ford wagon!!!
I wanted to be done by the time I was 30 PJ...so we had better get busy!!!
It does, thanks Day. But since this one's a boy, I def want to try one more time for a little girl.
I hear ya about being outnumbered Lo...that's why I only wanted one of each. But I guess the Lord has other plans for us!
Right FC, I want to be able to give my children equal attention and love. I just have to remember that when you have more, your love doesn't subtract, but multiplies.
June 13, 2006 11:45 AM
I found that three was MUCH harder than two, but four is just as easy as two was. We have a minivan, the boys share a room and a bunk bed, and they are all best of friends. I wanted an even number of children, also. I wouldn't mind having two more, as long as I didn't have to be the one pregnant, LOL!
June 13, 2006 12:06 PM
My aunt had 7 children. The older ones were a huge help with the younger ones.
I don't have an answer to your question. I'm about to find out how much more work it is with 3 instead of 2.
June 13, 2006 1:50 PM
Four kids are WAAAYYYYYYYY easier than one. When I just had the one all I ever did was entertain her 24/7. Don't get me wrong, I loved it, but MAN my brain was turning to jelly.
Then we got 2 and 3 at the same time, and they all started playing together. I had some free time. I could clean, and read and everything. By the time four came, he was barely a hiccup in the routine, he just fit right in!
June 13, 2006 1:58 PM
* * * plein, vraiment, absolument!!!* * *
June 13, 2006 5:59 PM
May I chime in here?
Its more about the not wanting to stop with three than the having four kids that counts with me.
We'll definitely try for more after this one. Who knows... maybe we'll have twins next time. Four kids... Three C-sections! How's that for compromise?
The even amount is for the sake of two not teaming up and picking on the third.(You know that scenario first hand Trin.)
Really its more about not wanting to permanantly stop too soon.
We could always adopt, but after praying so long and hard to have our own children naturally, it would feel wrong to say, "There! We got what we wanted, now seal it up!"
Some may not agree with me, I just wanted to be heard on this matter.
June 13, 2006 6:07 PM
All I can tell you is my experience. Technically, we have four children. But our eldest resides with her mother 80% of the time. AND she is nine years older than my oldest son. With that being said, most of the time I have three children. I think any problems that we have, or positives for that matter, do not go along with the number of children we have. It gets hectic around here, but I think it would be no more hectic with two or four kids full time.
It is all what you both feel you can handle. You never know, you might change your mind on the third child within a year. Who knows? All I can say is, you will know when your family is complete. You will feel it. I can't explain it other than you will just know.
Was that a non-commital answer to your question or what? LOL!
June 13, 2006 11:03 PM
I can't help you here, I only have one child.
June 13, 2006 11:55 PM
Our kids would def be sharing rooms Jana! And I hope my kids will all be great friends as well. My sis and I weren't while we were growing up. But now that we are adults, we are the best of friends!
Oh yes, I really hope my son will be a wonderful helper OGO!
I have never had to entertain my son...so I can't relate. But I'm sure he would be able to help entertain his siblings!
Thanks for stoppin LZ.
Oh course you can chime in my dear! But are you saying that we could have 6+ kids and still not be done??? You could still want more?? (And yes, my sis behaves like a typical middle child cause of how my bro and I treated her...but I think it would be different if the middle child was a boy-less emotional.)
Great point DW...I think I'll know when we are supposed to stop/when our family is complete. Thanks for the input!
Well, thanks for stoppin Barbara!
June 14, 2006 7:36 AM
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